You’ve always been vaguely there, in a corner of my mind.
I tried to shut you down, tried to tell myself ‘hey, it’s okay, girl – this ain’t nothin’ serious’. But truth is, you never really left.

Somehow you anchored your soul here, close to mine, and I have no strength enough to lift it and set myself free.
Somehow I still see you when you’re so far: a mirage, an illusion, that my tricky mind still can grasp no matter what.

And I know, deep inside, how worthless this all is.
I know I am the island and you’re the boat.
I know your waves will always only crash on my rocks.

And from your view point, I will fade, I will go back to uncertainty, to unexplored.
And in my point of view I will stay, fierce, forever, until you’ll have forgotten that I even exist.

10:37
I slowly extract myself out of the myst of a long, delightful night of sleep. You’re laying beside, dreaming maybe. I can’t stop observing every single feature of your beautiful face.
I sit on the bed, scratch my eyes and blissfully yawn. You attempt opening an eye, then another, and the first thing you see is me smiling at you. You smile back, but you can’t move yet.
I sneak under the sheets and stick all my body against yours. You breathe deeply while I wrap your arms around me and we both confidently close our eyes again.

11:12
You fell asleep again. I carefully extract myself from the sheets and stand up, but you I wake you up in the process. Never mind, it’s already 11:14. I jump under the shower while you’re still recollecting the pieces of your consciousness. I lightly sing and whistle while shivering under the cold water. It’s going to be a good day.

11:38
You’re still laying against that bunch of pillows, half-covered by those white sheets that make your radiant skin shine.
I jump back in the bed. Your body still wears the delightful warmth of the sleep. Mine tastes like a fresh and energizing lemonade. I lay above you, I kiss you and we melt together.

12:12
We look at the ceiling, we laugh about some absurdities, we smooch, hug, caress.
Time to get up! You disappear under the shower while I wear something casual and head to the kitchen: toaster on, fresh milk on the table and that peanut butter you love.
I lay the table nicely so that when you’ll pop out, with your hair still wet, you’ll smile again.

13:21
I finish eating, we clean the table and the dishes and I sit at my desk, to check my e-mails. Nothing much, today. I’ll have to work just a little.
You hang on the couch and watch random programs on TV while I get things sorted out.
From time to time, you come close, look at my screen and ask me for something, or kiss me on the neck. I smile back.

14:15
How come we’re back under the sheets again? You make me want to laugh and scream at the same time. You make me happy. I want more, we can’t stop.

16:05
You fell asleep again. I go back to my work.

18:34
You wake up a little bit alarmed: it’s getting dark outside already. You ask me how long you slept. It’s okay my dear, it’s Sunday. You come close and we hug. Let’s go out?

19:25
We wander around that park I know by heart. We sit on a bench, we don’t talk much. Your arm on my shoulder, my arm on your waist: intertwined. We grab some street food, we eat quietly, silently even, and we start heading back home.

20:53
I can’t focus anymore. My sight has become blurry. Somehow I am alone on the street: you disappeared.
I look around myself, helplessly, and finally decide to walk home on my own.

22:09
One hour now. And you aren’t back.
It’s the same every night.

23:47
I consider the emptiness of my day.
I wish you were here, I wish you were real.

I remember liking you at first sight. Who’s this guy?
I remember feeling so down when they told me you had somebody.
I remember kissing you sweet, in that dark alley.
I remember you telling me it would be better not to go further.
I remember me getting wasted like my life was about to end.
I remember convincing you to follow me home.
I remember you looking at my artworks on the wall and noticing ‘you’re so lonely’.
I remember you sitting quietly at my desk like a pupil and asking me ‘what’s next?’
I remember you letting me drag you to the room and remove your clothes.
I remember feeling so good and whole against your smooth body.
I remember sitting close to you, eyes into eyes and hands in hands for the whole night.
I remember our desperate glances, every second was like a goodbye.
I remember you telling that dude we were a couple… since 3 days.
I remember when you fled, leaving no trace.
I remember your confused voice on the phone kilometers away.
I remember that day you changed your status to ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook.
I remember your sweet promise to see me again next year.

I remember every single second I stole from her, and it’s like I picked the most precious diamonds. She’ll never know, right? Or maybe she’ll do, and she won’t mind. I think I wouldn’t mind either.

I was just that other girl you did a stupid thing with, to better come back to her.
And you were the guy that painfully woke me up, and left me with an open, ever-bleeding wound.

Here I am again, in this weird, troubled gap, in between what was and what could have been.
Here I am again, pondering what for?
Here I am again, mechanically erasing any trace of you from my skin.

Soon, you’ll be just another ghost.
You’ll haunt me like they all did, like they all do.
You’ll whisper me your number when you’ll slip in my sleep.
You’ll laugh at my miserable attempts to fill the void.

“I hope you won’t forget me.”
I wish I could, my dear.